(WOMENINTHEWORLD) — In an honest and enlightening debate about the new rules of sexual engagement moderated by Zainab Salbi, host and executive editor of the PBS series “#MeToo, Now What,” two female journalists joined a male actor and activist to discuss the issues and share their own stories.

The problem starts with dating apps, said Joanna Coles, chief content officer of Hearst Magazines and author of the new book Love Rules. “What happens when you communicate with a stranger who you matched with on an app is you begin on a computer-mediated communication,” Coles said. “You don’t have all five senses on fire. You can’t tell if you’re going to like this person. All you can do is have a witty exchange with them.”

That disconnect can often give rise to incidents like the much-discussed story of comedian Aziz Ansari’s encounter with a woman in which the lines of consent were blurred — just one example of how confusing these issues can be.

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